The “Last” Year

2011 was crap…It was a big stupid year full of big stupid things. Thus I shall not waste time on those year ending lists and “best and worst of 2011 stuff “.

As 2012 is just round the corner now is a good time to pretend that 2011 never happened and look forward to the last year of the world… So instead of reviewing the previous year I am going to look ahead…

Here is what my 2012 will look like…

January 1st – The official first day of 2012…I will mostly debate with myself on having a new year resolution…giving into the pressure of having one ( as not having one will make me an outcast) I will decide upon some rubbish resolutions…most likely –

  1. Will not worry so much – at least not in front of other people.
  2. Keep my opinions to myself – yeah sure !
  3. Stop procrastinating – I think I will start on this one after a week or even a month later.
  4. Read something this year – other than the e-mails, texts, comics & news.

January 1st – After a few hours of waking up I shall write 2011 instead of 2012 and continue to do so for a few more weeks.

January 7th – One week into the new year and I will break all my resolutions.

January 8th – I shall resolve not to make any more resolutions.

January 15th – I shall stare into the sky and ask myself why do I not know how to fly a kite (well I do know how to fly one but I am incapable of flying it for more than 5 minutes) .

January 22nd – My relatives will ask me what I want for my birthday and since I cannot think of something that isn’t extravagant I shall say nothing

January 23rd – My birthday. I receive all of my presents and vow to give everyone a list of what I actually do want next year.

February 5th – I shall vow to successfully complete writing a book and plan an outline of all the characters and story-lines.

February 6th – I shall forget about the book as writing is though and a F.R.I.E.N.D.S marathon is on TV.

March 8th – I will lock myself up in the house and wonder why do people like to paint each other black, silver and gold only to take a bath later and crib about the fact that the colors don’t come off.

April 15th – I shall promise the mirror to lose some weight and walk to the gym.

April 22nd – I will write a post about accepting one’s body and forget about going to the gym.

May 13th – Mother’s Day. Will try to clean the hose but will give up and take mom for lunch instead.

May 30th to June 10th – Will rethink the whole book idea.

June 21st – Longest Day of the year and I will crib about living in the hottest city in the country (this may not be factually correct but Jaipur is the hottest city for me).

July 29th – I will dream about being locked up in a Subway outlet…wake up see the reality, feel bad and eventually have lunch there.

August 2nd – Will feel bad about the fact that instead of gifts some brothers choose to give cash on rakshabandhan.

August 5th – Will spend all the money received on shopping and feel good about the same fact.

September 16th – Will try to convince dad to buy a new car.

September 23rd – Have a long discussion about the car with dad and my elder brother. In the end will be convinced that we don’t need a new one (but will continue to hope for one).

October 7th – Will wish for holidays. As I shall be fed of classes will decide not to go to college for a week and sleep peacefully at home.

October 14th – Shall start cursing the professors for teaching important stuff during my absence and will spend the rest of the month covering up.

November 4th – Will start dropping hints for buying new clothes.

November 11th – Mom will take me clothes shopping and will try to act surprised.

November 13th – Diwali. Will overload my self with sweets and then will spend the rest of the month resisting going into the kitchen.

December 1st – Will decide whether it has been a good year or not. Might be ecstatic or depressed depending upon the decision.

December 21st – According to Mayan prophecies, this will be the end of the world. I use this as an excuse to not buy anyone Christmas presents.

December 22nd – After seeing that the world did not end, I begin shopping for presents.

December 28th – I make another stupid list about 2013. Spoiler alert: It’s, most likely, the exact same list.

Happy new year :)


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