Types of People in an Elevator.

If you count all the minutes you spend in an elevator, they might add up to be a total day in a month. That is a lot of time…and eventually you figure out the different types of people you come across in a lift. They are –

1. The Operator – This person can be easily identified. Every time he steps into an elevator the first question he asks everybody is ” which floor ? “. Might get upset if you have already pressed the buttons, or reach across and do it your self in his presence. His nemesis is the lift-man who not only gets to operate the buttons but also gets a stool to sit on.

The operator also is in charge of the fan switch. In certain instances he figures that people can go without the comforts of a fan for a couple of minutes and hence does not turn it on. Also thinks that pressing the >|< and <> buttons is a part of his moral duty.

2. The Security Man – This person thinks that the security of every person on the lift is his personal duty. In-spite of space being available inside the elevator this person insists on standing just before the door and is always seen entering and exiting at every floor to let people out and in (inspecting them in the mean time). They tend to be men of valor who stand facing the doors with their chests swollen in pride and arms folded in readiness. They also act as the custodians of the safety of all the elevator folk.

Also are door-pals with the operator.

3. The Wall Hugger – They are people who dash towards the walls of the elevator the instant the doors open. In case the back wall is taken the try to hide their despair and occupy the side walls. The wall hugger has a modus operandi that involves the clear-cut search for a space that is close to the walls of the elevator. He darts in,pushes people off along the way, gets his place, and then apologizes for the inconvenience caused.

4. The Evaluator – This person runs an eye over everybody in the lift. Once the first glance is cast, he or she then starts focusing on individuals and starts marking them eye to toe. There are various parameters on which such people evaluate you – which company you could be working in, single or married, how much you could earning, etc.

A sub-species of this type is The Starer. This is mostly a man. His job is to stare at anybody who enters the lift. A stare back doesn’t discourage this guy. The fact that the stare is going to last only 30+ seconds helps. Mind you, he doesn’t just stare at women….men also end up being his target.

5. The Evader – This person avoids all eye contact when inside the lift. They will take out their handkerchief and play with it, then stare at the fan or AC vent on top, then look at the buttons, stare at the floor indicator at the top of the lift etc. They will do anything to avoid eye contact with you – even looking at their own shoes.

6. The back-to-the-door person – For some odd reason, they stand with their back to the door till they reach their destination floor – opening or closing of the lift doesn’t help in changing their orientation. Complements The Wall Hugger.

7. The Mobile-Handler – Often receive msgs or emails often while in the elevator. If not the case then just take out their phone and start fooling around. Another characteristic is saying “in the elevator call later” . May get off on the wrong floor while engrossed in phone, look around and then step back in. 

A sub species is also The Boss – mostly on the phone discussing office work and generally mouthing instructions to (presumably) a secretary. Often looks around upon other people as unworthy of riding the elevator with him. The phone is most commonly a high-end smart phone. ( also has the added characteristics of an evaluator and a starer ).

Honorable Mention –

  • That lady : The ideal companion in an elevator. Dressed from head to toe in  perfume and often seen holding a file. Standard accessory is an over-sized branded hand bag.

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. roby
    Jul 03, 2012 @ 15:00:14

    gud one :):)


  2. valencelectron
    Oct 13, 2012 @ 16:37:07

    Nice post. Read something pleasantly funny after such a long time :)


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